Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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