he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
