she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize