Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
