So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
