Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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