Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The power of my boobs compel you
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
