Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
