I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
