It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
