I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
