just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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