found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
