Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize