jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
