so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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