Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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