glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
