my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
