Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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