Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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