It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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