We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize