she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
