I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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