All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
