My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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