Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Pants are for mortals
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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