Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
