he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
