i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
