I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
