but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
