We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
