you mean i was at the winter classic?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
