First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
