also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
