i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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