You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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