she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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