he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
