That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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