WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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