Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
