After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
