I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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