You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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