i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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