just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
