that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
