I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize