I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
