Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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