I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
