I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
