I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize