I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
