I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Randomize
