There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize