First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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