I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
