It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
