Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize