dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
