All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
