forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
