where am i from again
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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