I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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