Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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