So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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